My Fan Fic "THE FOLLOWER" Options

[9sam1]

its short, its not the best i could do but i think i had some good ideas.



i rewrote it so heres the second draft



The Follower

By Sam LiButti



George and jerry eating “Brunch” at monks



Waiter hands them the Special “Brunch menu”



George: Why do they call it Brunch?



Jerry: it’s a fusion of lunch and breakfast.



George: no, no you can’t fuse meals.



George: this is why they should have rules



Jerry: Rules, for eating?



George: yes, up to 10 is breakfast, then up to 12 is lunch from there on ...whatever



Jerry: very nice system you have there George.



George: Thank you.



Just then Kramer walks in



Jerry: Hey Kramer,



George: Hey.



Kramer: what’s with the new menus



George: their brunch menus.



Kramer: Brunch?



Jerry: yea it’s a fusion of lunch and breakfast.



Kramer: Aww, well you can’t fuse meals!



George: that’s what I said



Kramer: ya know if they’re gonna fuse anything why not lunch and dinner.



Jerry: There the same thing really, and anyway what would you call it??



Kramer:…. Dinnunch?



George: no, no linner sounds much better, dinnuch sounds like your trying to hard..



Kramer: it sounds perfect.



Jerry: they both sound stupid.



Kramer: You’re just jealous that we came up with it and you cant have in on the deal.



Jerry: What Deal!!!



Kramer: Hey my friend Lenny and me are going to the movies ya wanna come?



Jerry: Sure what movie?



Kramer: im not sure… he didn’t say.



Jerry: well we can always pick one while where there. Hey you guys want to come with me to get a new suit? I got a big gig tonight.



Kramer: No, I gotta go do some thing with newman



George: I can come I have nothing to do.



Jerry: big surprise.



End scene



Jerry and George are at the local suit store.



Jerry: this looks good.



Jerry takes the suit off the rack and looks at it as George looks at a suit in another rack.



George: this suit looks great, wish I had some money to buy this.



Jerry: to bad you don’t have a job.



George: I don’t have a job cause I don’t have a nice suit. I don’t see why you cant wear casual clothing at a job interview or at work, why cant a guy go to a interview in sweatpants and a t-shirt!



Jerry: do you ever stop to think before you talk sometimes?



George: never.



Jerry pays for the suit and they leave.



We see Jerry with Kramer’s friend Lenny in a line at the theater.



Jerry: so what do ya want to see?



Lenny: hmm… how about “death quest” it seems to be pretty good.



Jerry: alright, whatever.



Kramer walks up,



Jerry: what took you so long!



Kramer: well I forgot to bring money for the cab..



Jerry: so what did you do?



Kramer: ….i ran.



Jerry: why did you do that, he’s gonna catch you you know



Kramer: oh common jerry, there thousands of cab drivers in this city what are the chances ill ever see him again.



Jerry: alright well I was thinking we could see “ Death quest”



Kramer: Ah no! That movie looks horrible!



Lenny: yea it looks bad.



Kramer: We should see, "A clown odyssey" its action, romance and comedy rolled up into one bundle of greatness, its practically Genius jerry!



Lenny: yea I agree, its great.



Jerry looks at Lenny suspiciously



Jerry: ok…



Scene ends.



In jerry’s apartment.



George: so how was the movie.



Jerry: fine, we saw “a clown odyssey”



George: was it good?



Jerry: it was ok.



Jerry: but the weird thing is me and Lenny agreed on seeing “death quest” but once Kramer came and said he wanted to see “ A clown Odyssey” Lenny agreed saying that “Death quest didn’t look that good” after he clearly stated before that he thought it would be a good movie!



George: you know what it is… he’s a “follower”



Jerry: Follower, What’s that?



George: when someone follows what other people say just to fit in, they find out what you like and then, like it to.



Just then Kramer slides through the door.



Kramer gets something out of Jerry’s Fridge



Jerry: Kramer you gotta do something about your friend.



George: Ya, hes a follower.



Kramer: Lenny? Nah he’s not a follower, we just happen to have a lot in common that’s all.



Jerry: But last night he told me he wanted to see Death quest, but when you said you wanted to see “A clown odyssey” he agreed with you and said that he didn’t want to see Death quest.



Kramer: Maybe he changed his mind…



Jerry: but how can you be sure.



George: simple, next time you see him say you like something, see if he agrees then Kramer disagree and see if he follows you.



Jerry: is this the best thing you can apply your brain to.



George: yes… yes it is.



We now visit Kramer, and Jerry at monks waiting for Lenny to arrive.



Jerry: here he comes.



Lenny enters monks



Lenny: Kramer Jerry! What’s going on!



Jerry: im fine.



Kramer: hey.



Kramer: I gotta go to the bathroom.



Kramer leaves.



Waiter: what can I get you guys?



Jerry: I think ill get a cup of coffee and a sandwich.



Lenny: that sounds good, I think ill get the same, I love sandwiches.

Jerry looks at him suspiciously.

Jerry: yea.



Jerry: So how bout them Yankees.



Lenny: yea I love the Yankees, my favorite team.



Kramer comes back and sits down.



Jerry: so Kramer… me and Lenny where just talking about baseball, what’s your favorite baseball team?



Kramer: oh I don’t watch baseball, to boring.



Lenny: yea it is…



Jerry: has a serious look on his face.



Jerry: Kramer can I talk to you.



Kramer makes “Kramer like noises”



Kramer and jerry walk away.



Jerry: I told you!



Kramer: but you don’t understand, you can’t do this, Lenny has a lot of connections around the city , he got me a new stove for just 50 bucks jerry! 50 bucks! What if he takes it back!



Jerry: why do you need a stove you don’t even cook!



Kramer: you never know when you might need one! Comon jerry! you can’t just break the Bridge between our worlds, it will destroy both of us if you tell him he’s a follower!



Jerry: I have to do it Kramer!!



Jerry walks back to Lenny



Jerry: listen Lenny, there’s something I have to tell you, you’re a follower.



Lenny: huh?



Jerry: you agree with whatever Kramer says, you don’t make your own decisions, you just live off of other peoples so you can fit in.



Lenny: you agree with this Kramer?



Kramer nods.



Lenny: well if that’s how you see me then I’m outta here! And ill get my revenge, oh you wait and see!



Lenny stomps out of the restaurant.

Just a few seconds later he comes back in.



Lenny: oh yea and I want my stove back!



Kramer shivers



Kramer: told ya.



End scene.



George is walking down the street when he sees a wallet on the ground. He picks It up and it’s filled with money, lots of money. George looks around him and then puts the money in his pocket.



Jerry’s Apartment.



Intercom thing goes off.



George: its me



Jerry: come up.



A little bit later George enters the room.



George: wait till ya here this!



Jerry: they found a cure for baldness.



George: no… I found a wallet today, and it had $550 in it.



Jerry: and you took it all.



George: yes, finally God has blessed me with some luck.



Jerry: yea im sure god fully approves of stealing money out of some guys wallet.



George sits on the couch counting his money with a smile on his face.



Just then Kramer slides in with Newman not so far behind him.



Jerry: Hello, Newman



Newman: Hello, Jerry.



Jerry: so Kramer what’s up?



Kramer: I was wondering, if you had a Yalmulkes?



Jerry: maybe why.



Kramer: I’m making a Christian Yalmuke.



Jerry: Christian Yalmulke?



Kramer: ya, well if Jews can have little hats why not Christians!



Jerry: How do you make a Christian Yalmuke?



Kramer: just take a Yalmuke and… Jesus it up.



Jerry shakes his head; as he goes in his room and comes out holding a Yalmuke.



Kramer: thanks buddy.



Jerry: no problem.



Newman: oh and jerry one more thing..



Jerry slams door in Newman’s face.



George: well anyway imp going to go spend my money, I think I’m gonna buy that suit that I saw earlier wanna come?



Jerry: no thanks. I’m gonna work on my material,



George: ok cya.



George exits room.



George is in a suit store, trying on the suit.



George: hmm I think ill take this.



Woman: ok ill just go ring it up.



Woman: ok that will be… $212



George: all right.



Hands the woman money.



The woman marks the money.



Woman: um.. ill be right back.



Woman calls police.



Scene ends.



Back at Kramer’s apartment, Newman is donning the new “Christian Yalmuke” which is covered in crosses.



Newman: how do I look?



Kramer: perfect! Ill go take it to the Church.



Kramer is walking down the street wearing his Christian Yalmuke when he notices Lenny in the distance.



Lenny: KRAMER!!



Lenny is chasing after Kramer, Kramer runs as fast as he can as he hails a cab. A cab rolls up.



Kramer: you gotta get me outta here I’m being chased by a mad man!



Cab driver: well, well, well look who it is. The man who didn’t want to pay for his cab ride.



Kramer: comon I need to get out of here, I’m sorry!!



Cab driver: to bad!



He drives off as Kramer is tackled to the ground by Lenny, his Yalmuke fly’s into the street and is run over by a fleet of cars.



Kramer: my Yalmuke!



Lenny: your Jewish?



Kramer: no, it was a Christian Yalmuke.











Comedy Club. Jerry is going over his material; he then sets it down, when he sees Banya.



Jerry tries to act like he doesn’t see him but Kenny sees jerry.



Banya: HEY! Jerry what’s going on! I’m up next when are you up?



Jerry: uh, I’m up after you.



Banya: that’s great, I got some killer material Jerry it Great stuff!



Jerry: yea that’s nice Banya, excuse me I have to go to the bathroom.



As Jerry is in the bathroom he hears a odd sound , the toilet seems to be broken and begins to leak everywhere and goes all over his new suit. Jerry try’s to get away but fails.



Banya walks off stage.



Banya: hey jerry. What happened to you?



Jerry is covered in water, he then picks up a small napkin and attempts to wipe himself down.



Scene ends.



Suit store.



The store is filled with policemen who are arresting George because the money he was using happened to be counterfeit



George: I swear it’s not my money! I found it on the ground



Police man: that’s what they all say.



Just as the officer is taking George out of the store, George spots Jerry walking by.



George: jerry! Tell these guys that I found that money on the street! It was counterfeit and they think it was mine.



There’s a slight pause.



George: Jerry, jerry!



Jerry: I have never seen this man in my life.



George screams as he is hauled into the police car.



Jerry’s apartment.



Kramer comes in bruised up.



Jerry: what happened



Kramer: I saw Lenny in the street, he broke my Yalmuke! Hey, Where’s George.



Jerry: Jail.



Kramer: Ah.



Newman enters



Kramer: Hey Newman.



Newman: so what did the father say?



Kramer: I never got it there; I ran into Lenny and he destroyed the Yalmuke



Newman: I thought you would mess up , so I made an extra. And the father liked it! Soon the whole world will be covered with our Christian Yalmulkes and we’ll be rich!



Jerry: you cant make money off of Yalmulkes there free.



Newman: Those are Jewish Yalmulkes, but these, these are the start of a new era; you just wait Jerry Seinfeld, just wait.



Jerry shakes his head as Newman Exits.



Kramer: so why is George in jail?



Jerry: well he found some money in a wallet he took it , it happened to be counterfeit and the police found out and took him to jail, I saw him on the street earlier getting arrested I figured id let them take him for a few hours to learn a lesson.



Kramer laughs



Jerry: anyhow I’m gonna go there now and straighten it all out ill be back in a bit.



Jerry arrives at the police station an explains the entire thing.



Police officer: so you knew he had the money?



Jerry: yes…



We now see Jerry being thrown in jail with George.



Police: your under arrest for aiding a criminal.



Jerry to George: You HAD to take the wallet didn’t you.



George: oh shut up this is all your fault.



They have a small fight as a new cell mate is thrown in with them, the man is 6 feet tall and very strong.



Police officer: have fun



He smiles and walks away.



George and jerry have a terrified look on there face .



Credits



END

[Twix]

Best line:

Jerry: How do you make a Christian Yalmulke?

Kramer: just take a Yalmulke and… Jesus it up.



I read the whole thing -- need work but shows promise. I could see 'The Follower' as a real bit on Seinfeld and obviously there was some very similar scenarios -- like the renaming breakfast - lunch - dinner bit was done with Jerry and Jeane Garofalo. And Jerry with Banya -- that's straight out of The Butter Shave.



...like I said it needs work but shows promise.



Now read my Fan fiction: The Vinegar Chips

http://board.seinology.com/viewtopic.php?t=1488

http://www.seinology.com/fanfic/vinegarchips.shtml

[9sam1]

thanks, yeah iknow it needs work, but i wrote it at like 1:00 at night i didnt really do the best i could

[AstralCar]

It wasn't bad but Elaine almost didn't have a plot & what she did have was kinda confusing. Why didn't Jerry help George? Also, why did you have to name Kramer's friend Larry? It made me imagine him as Larry David.

[9sam1]

its soooo hard to write for elaine, so i just gave her no plot lol , jerry didn't help george to teach him a lesson. and larry was the first name to pop in my head





also i havent been here in a while and noticed my fic is on the site, thanks no reveiw or anything though

[9sam1]

ok i did a little rewrite, i think the second draft is better please tell me what u think, whatd u like what didnt you like what can i add or change about a scene. well heres try number 2



The Follower

By Sam LiButti



George and jerry eating “Brunch” at monks



Waiter hands them the Special “Brunch menu”



George: Why do they call it Brunch?



Jerry: it’s a fusion of lunch and breakfast.



George: no, no you can’t fuse meals.



George: this is why they should have rules



Jerry: Rules, for eating?



George: yes, up to 10 is breakfast, then up to 12 is lunch from there on ...whatever



Jerry: very nice system you have there George.



George: Thank you.



Just then Kramer walks in



Jerry: Hey Kramer,



George: Hey.



Kramer: what’s with the new menus



George: their brunch menus.



Kramer: Brunch?



Jerry: yea it’s a fusion of lunch and breakfast.



Kramer: Aww, well you can’t fuse meals!



George: that’s what I said



Kramer: ya know if they’re gonna fuse anything why not lunch and dinner.



Jerry: There the same thing really, and anyway what would you call it??



Kramer:…. Dinnunch?



George: no, no linner sounds much better, dinnuch sounds like your trying to hard..



Kramer: it sounds perfect.



Jerry: they both sound stupid.



Kramer: You’re just jealous that we came up with it and you cant have in on the deal.



Jerry: What Deal!!!



Kramer: Hey my friend Lenny and me are going to the movies ya wanna come?



Jerry: Sure what movie?



Kramer: im not sure… he didn’t say.



Jerry: well we can always pick one while where there. Hey you guys want to come with me to get a new suit? I got a big gig tonight.



Kramer: No, I gotta go do some thing with newman



George: I can come I have nothing to do.



Jerry: big surprise.



End scene



Jerry and George are at the local suit store.



Jerry: this looks good.



Jerry takes the suit off the rack and looks at it as George looks at a suit in another rack.



George: this suit looks great, wish I had some money to buy this.



Jerry: to bad you don’t have a job.



George: I don’t have a job cause I don’t have a nice suit. I don’t see why you cant wear casual clothing at a job interview or at work, why cant a guy go to a interview in sweatpants and a t-shirt!



Jerry: do you ever stop to think before you talk sometimes?



George: never.



Jerry pays for the suit and they leave.



We see Jerry with Kramer’s friend Lenny in a line at the theater.



Jerry: so what do ya want to see?



Lenny: hmm… how about “death quest” it seems to be pretty good.



Jerry: alright, whatever.



Kramer walks up,



Jerry: what took you so long!



Kramer: well I forgot to bring money for the cab..



Jerry: so what did you do?



Kramer: ….i ran.



Jerry: why did you do that, he’s gonna catch you you know



Kramer: oh common jerry, there thousands of cab drivers in this city what are the chances ill ever see him again.



Jerry: alright well I was thinking we could see “ Death quest”



Kramer: Ah no! That movie looks horrible!



Lenny: yea it looks bad.



Kramer: We should see, "A clown odyssey" its action, romance and comedy rolled up into one bundle of greatness, its practically Genius jerry!



Lenny: yea I agree, its great.



Jerry looks at Lenny suspiciously



Jerry: ok…



Scene ends.



In jerry’s apartment.



George: so how was the movie.



Jerry: fine, we saw “a clown odyssey”



George: was it good?



Jerry: it was ok.



Jerry: but the weird thing is me and Lenny agreed on seeing “death quest” but once Kramer came and said he wanted to see “ A clown Odyssey” Lenny agreed saying that “Death quest didn’t look that good” after he clearly stated before that he thought it would be a good movie!



George: you know what it is… he’s a “follower”



Jerry: Follower, What’s that?



George: when someone follows what other people say just to fit in, they find out what you like and then, like it to.



Just then Kramer slides through the door.



Kramer gets something out of Jerry’s Fridge



Jerry: Kramer you gotta do something about your friend.



George: Ya, hes a follower.



Kramer: Lenny? Nah he’s not a follower, we just happen to have a lot in common that’s all.



Jerry: But last night he told me he wanted to see Death quest, but when you said you wanted to see “A clown odyssey” he agreed with you and said that he didn’t want to see Death quest.



Kramer: Maybe he changed his mind…



Jerry: but how can you be sure.



George: simple, next time you see him say you like something, see if he agrees then Kramer disagree and see if he follows you.



Jerry: is this the best thing you can apply your brain to.



George: yes… yes it is.



We now visit Kramer, and Jerry at monks waiting for Lenny to arrive.



Jerry: here he comes.



Lenny enters monks



Lenny: Kramer Jerry! What’s going on!



Jerry: im fine.



Kramer: hey.



Kramer: I gotta go to the bathroom.



Kramer leaves.



Waiter: what can I get you guys?



Jerry: I think ill get a cup of coffee and a sandwich.



Lenny: that sounds good, I think ill get the same, I love sandwiches.

Jerry looks at him suspiciously.

Jerry: yea.



Jerry: So how bout them Yankees.



Lenny: yea I love the Yankees, my favorite team.



Kramer comes back and sits down.



Jerry: so Kramer… me and Lenny where just talking about baseball, what’s your favorite baseball team?



Kramer: oh I don’t watch baseball, to boring.



Lenny: yea it is…



Jerry: has a serious look on his face.



Jerry: Kramer can I talk to you.



Kramer makes “Kramer like noises”



Kramer and jerry walk away.



Jerry: I told you!



Kramer: but you don’t understand, you can’t do this, Lenny has a lot of connections around the city , he got me a new stove for just 50 bucks jerry! 50 bucks! What if he takes it back!



Jerry: why do you need a stove you don’t even cook!



Kramer: you never know when you might need one! Comon jerry! you can’t just break the Bridge between our worlds, it will destroy both of us if you tell him he’s a follower!



Jerry: I have to do it Kramer!!



Jerry walks back to Lenny



Jerry: listen Lenny, there’s something I have to tell you, you’re a follower.



Lenny: huh?



Jerry: you agree with whatever Kramer says, you don’t make your own decisions, you just live off of other peoples so you can fit in.



Lenny: you agree with this Kramer?



Kramer nods.



Lenny: well if that’s how you see me then I’m outta here! And ill get my revenge, oh you wait and see!



Lenny stomps out of the restaurant.

Just a few seconds later he comes back in.



Lenny: oh yea and I want my stove back!



Kramer shivers



Kramer: told ya.



End scene.



George is walking down the street when he sees a wallet on the ground. He picks It up and it’s filled with money, lots of money. George looks around him and then puts the money in his pocket.



Jerry’s Apartment.



Intercom thing goes off.



George: its me



Jerry: come up.



A little bit later George enters the room.



George: wait till ya here this!



Jerry: they found a cure for baldness.



George: no… I found a wallet today, and it had $550 in it.



Jerry: and you took it all.



George: yes, finally God has blessed me with some luck.



Jerry: yea im sure god fully approves of stealing money out of some guys wallet.



George sits on the couch counting his money with a smile on his face.



Just then Kramer slides in with Newman not so far behind him.



Jerry: Hello, Newman



Newman: Hello, Jerry.



Jerry: so Kramer what’s up?



Kramer: I was wondering, if you had a Yalmulkes?



Jerry: maybe why.



Kramer: I’m making a Christian Yalmuke.



Jerry: Christian Yalmulke?



Kramer: ya, well if Jews can have little hats why not Christians!



Jerry: How do you make a Christian Yalmuke?



Kramer: just take a Yalmuke and… Jesus it up.



Jerry shakes his head; as he goes in his room and comes out holding a Yalmuke.



Kramer: thanks buddy.



Jerry: no problem.



Newman: oh and jerry one more thing..



Jerry slams door in Newman’s face.



George: well anyway imp going to go spend my money, I think I’m gonna buy that suit that I saw earlier wanna come?



Jerry: no thanks. I’m gonna work on my material,



George: ok cya.



George exits room.



George is in a suit store, trying on the suit.



George: hmm I think ill take this.



Woman: ok ill just go ring it up.



Woman: ok that will be… $212



George: all right.



Hands the woman money.



The woman marks the money.



Woman: um.. ill be right back.



Woman calls police.



Scene ends.



Back at Kramer’s apartment, Newman is donning the new “Christian Yalmuke” which is covered in crosses.



Newman: how do I look?



Kramer: perfect! Ill go take it to the Church.



Kramer is walking down the street wearing his Christian Yalmuke when he notices Lenny in the distance.



Lenny: KRAMER!!



Lenny is chasing after Kramer, Kramer runs as fast as he can as he hails a cab. A cab rolls up.



Kramer: you gotta get me outta here I’m being chased by a mad man!



Cab driver: well, well, well look who it is. The man who didn’t want to pay for his cab ride.



Kramer: comon I need to get out of here, I’m sorry!!



Cab driver: to bad!



He drives off as Kramer is tackled to the ground by Lenny, his Yalmuke fly’s into the street and is run over by a fleet of cars.



Kramer: my Yalmuke!



Lenny: your Jewish?



Kramer: no, it was a Christian Yalmuke.











Comedy Club. Jerry is going over his material; he then sets it down, when he sees Banya.



Jerry tries to act like he doesn’t see him but Kenny sees jerry.



Banya: HEY! Jerry what’s going on! I’m up next when are you up?



Jerry: uh, I’m up after you.



Banya: that’s great, I got some killer material Jerry it Great stuff!



Jerry: yea that’s nice Banya, excuse me I have to go to the bathroom.



As Jerry is in the bathroom he hears a odd sound , the toilet seems to be broken and begins to leak everywhere and goes all over his new suit. Jerry try’s to get away but fails.



Banya walks off stage.



Banya: hey jerry. What happened to you?



Jerry is covered in water, he then picks up a small napkin and attempts to wipe himself down.



Scene ends.



Suit store.



The store is filled with policemen who are arresting George because the money he was using happened to be counterfeit



George: I swear it’s not my money! I found it on the ground



Police man: that’s what they all say.



Just as the officer is taking George out of the store, George spots Jerry walking by.



George: jerry! Tell these guys that I found that money on the street! It was counterfeit and they think it was mine.



There’s a slight pause.



George: Jerry, jerry!



Jerry: I have never seen this man in my life.



George screams as he is hauled into the police car.



Jerry’s apartment.



Kramer comes in bruised up.



Jerry: what happened



Kramer: I saw Lenny in the street, he broke my Yalmuke! Hey, Where’s George.



Jerry: Jail.



Kramer: Ah.



Newman enters



Kramer: Hey Newman.



Newman: so what did the father say?



Kramer: I never got it there; I ran into Lenny and he destroyed the Yalmuke



Newman: I thought you would mess up , so I made an extra. And the father liked it! Soon the whole world will be covered with our Christian Yalmulkes and we’ll be rich!



Jerry: you cant make money off of Yalmulkes there free.



Newman: Those are Jewish Yalmulkes, but these, these are the start of a new era; you just wait Jerry Seinfeld, just wait.



Jerry shakes his head as Newman Exits.



Kramer: so why is George in jail?



Jerry: well he found some money in a wallet he took it , it happened to be counterfeit and the police found out and took him to jail, I saw him on the street earlier getting arrested I figured id let them take him for a few hours to learn a lesson.



Kramer laughs



Jerry: anyhow I’m gonna go there now and straighten it all out ill be back in a bit.



Jerry arrives at the police station an explains the entire thing.



Police officer: so you knew he had the money?



Jerry: yes…



We now see Jerry being thrown in jail with George.



Police: your under arrest for aiding a criminal.



Jerry to George: You HAD to take the wallet didn’t you.



George: oh shut up this is all your fault.



They have a small fight as a new cell mate is thrown in with them, the man is 6 feet tall and very strong.



Police officer: have fun



He smiles and walks away.



George and jerry have a terrified look on there face .



Credits



END

[Twix]

A year and a half for a re-write -- well, I'm no quick writer either... my fan fiction: The Vinegar Chips took about a year from writing the first half, taking a break and then finishing the 2nd half.

http://board.seinology.com/viewtopic.php?t=1488

http://www.seinology.com/fanfic/vinegarchips.shtml

[9sam1]

May i request that my name be removed from this topic and from the website? Can it be replaced with Sam L or 9sam1. Thanks.